True Love and Goo Goo Eyes

Dearly Beloveds and Friends---

Have you missed me? I am missing you, that's for sure, as I write from wintry weather on the Plains. I'm in the throes of home decorating and although I enjoy things like stripping wall paper and painting, I feel a bit lonely out here. It was a Valentine's Day without all of you, and that, I regret! The world has been a bit crazy, as I promised in my January email, and even though I know the train is coming, sometimes there's no way to prepare for it. Even if you know the guy is waiting in the alley for you, sometimes all the karate classes in the world, a big hard baseball bat, and even a high-powered gun won't help. In astrology, as in life, prayer is the only thing that can save you, and in this case, I was praying, all right! Sometimes I drag my feet when I don't want to do something, but the train comes on nonetheless. So, heck, I just got on the train, and I hope it goes somewhere fun. So far, so good.

Although I have so much political stuff to write about, without even mentioning any of the candidates, I thought I should give you all a break and write about LOVE, as we are at Valentine's Time. Prayer and LOVE are the great healers. All those folks finagling with the The Secret or love potions and money spells need to know that LOVE is the thing that brings you what you REALLY want. I mean, the Love you have inside you, not that stuff you see on "Millionaire Matchmaker". The fastest way to achieving Love is to BE loving. And there you have it! No spells or wishes required!
But times have changed, and while some things stay the same, the nature of relationships is changing. Partnerships are no longer meant to be ownerships or power trips or even codependencies. A new kind of partnership and a new kind of love is here. (or is it so new after all?) The partnerships are becoming open and equal with more independent individuals, and the new love is unconditional, or as my friend Rosie used to say, the kind of love that states “I accept you” instead of “I love you”.
This being the case, I hope we will stop seeing maudlin movies that show two people who can’t live without each other. Well, of course, you CAN live without each other! What did you do for the first twenty or so years of your life? Personally, I find certain romantic dramas portray folks who are obviously severely dysfunctional. Persons who stare into each other’s eyes continuously while the world passes them by are not exhibiting love, but probably are showing the effects of what I call “karmic charm”, and what the Eva Peirrakos' Pathwork books call Eros. This is an immediate and heightened level of attraction where the beloved appears golden in every respect. I say, give it a few years! In some cases, only a few months are necessary for the spell of Eros to wear off, and then, so does the so-called “love”. Obviously, it never was love in the first place, because love is NOT this romantically blissful entwinement so often depicted in movies, dramas, and books. What’s demonstrated is really just infatuation. And, really, who wants that?
Okay, I see a few of you raised your hands. Y’all are obviously immature, narcissistic egos or needy love-starved, just-dying-to-be-codependent souls. Or maybe you’re just lonely and want to be adored for a while. But, listen, all is not well in Pedestal Land, because eventually one of two things happens: you fall off your perch, OR it dissolves under your feet. And that’s when infatuation is no help to you, because it and its magnetic power are no longer there. So then what do you do? Hope for another adoring pal to become enamoured of you? Go after another “Love Fix” yourself? But remember, it’s not even really love; it’s a synthetic replacement that disintegrates the first time you show your true colors.

Then there’s those of you who like being UNDER the pedestal: the doormats, the foot wipes. Y’all are addicted to loving, to adoring even the most obnoxious folks. And yet, remember again, this really isn’t loving: it’s an addiction to being a victim, to being used, and is probably a behavior learned in childhood or at least an attitude adopted at that time.
I know you’re asking, “Well, if such blind adoration isn’t love, then what IS real love?” The realest kind of love is often that of a parent for a child, the unconditional variety that says: I love you no matter how you are, even if you misbehave, get dirty, wet your pants, eat with your hands, and get bad grades. I love you whether you’re fat or thin, plain or pretty, smart or not, and no matter what you believe or whatever you do. This is the ideal kind of love that we should have for a mate. Now I admit that some of us are hard tested by our loved ones at many times. They do makes us mad (or sad) sometimes, and I’m certainly not suggesting that you seek out a Significant Other with a bladder problem. But truth be told, if you really do love someone and they are the incontinent sort, you’ll bring them some “Depends” with their next bouquet of flowers. Yes, even that will not stop you from loving someone if you really do.
Now I know y’all hate advice, but I’ll give it anyway, and then you can choose to ignore me if you’re ornery and like to do things the hard way. So here it is: you can’t change people. They can only change themselves. So if you want love in your life, you’ll have to love people the way they are. If there’s something you don’t like about your latest gal pal or boy toy, and if you REALLY want love in your life, then you’d better learn to love that thing you don’t like, because it’s there for life, for better or for worse. And when you can love that person the way he or she is, even when they are being The Ultimate Jerk, without losing your own identity, then you’ve got it: TRUE LOVE. And if you can stick with your Significant Other throughout the bad times as well as the good, then you’ve got it. True Love. How about, can you love this person if they gain weight, lose their hair, get a disease? If yours is an unequivocal “yes!” then you’ve got True Love.
And what if your answer to one of those questions is NO? Maybe you need to learn something about what True Love is. Or maybe that person just isn’t the one for you. One thing’s for sure: it’s not True Love. True Love isn’t dreamy eyes; it isn’t physical lust, and it isn’t personality addiction. In the movies, we like to see pretty people, lustful and dreamy, who “can’t live without each other”. These people are, for one thing, imaginings, and for another, sick imaginings. I have a friend who has refused to let her female children watch Disney movies so they won't be misled about women's roles by them. I like that idea, actually!
More important today is the individual who is just as comfortable being alone as with others: a well balanced, fascinating person who is interested in something (not just focused on or “living for” someone) and who feels good about who he or she is. If you think another person is going to “fill up the holes in you", you are sadly mistaken. Besides, I can’t think of anybody more annoying than a so-called Prince Charming who can’t look at anything besides me and who needs to call 5 times a day for contact. I was married to someone like that, and it wasn't fun, or love, either. Sweet words won’t sway me if I know they are bullsh** (or if I know it is clingy BS).
How to gain a girl's attention? Ben Franklin knew: pay homage to her mind, and then you'll get the rest of the body. Or, I say to both guys and girls, just be yourself. Don’t try to impress me. Just be you. What are you interested in? Talk about it, and talk about yourself, but not too much. Guys whose only topic of conversation is themselves are plentiful and boring too; remember to keep the conversation two way. That means we can talk about me too, but again, not too much.
Just be an interesting person to do stuff with, whether it’s to talk or not to talk. Sometimes it’s great to have a partner just to be quiet with. You don’t have to try hard to find the perfect pal or to be one: just be genuinely you, and you’ll naturally attract the perfect partner. If you try too hard or push too much, you’ll only set your potential partners running away, so let people know that “what you see is what you get”. If they like it, they’ll stick around all on their own without you having to get out a collar and chain. And don’t lie about you are, what you like, etc. If you like at all, you are up the S creek, because you won’t attract a real or lasting match for yourself, and besides, you’re bound to get found out eventually. Never try to be someone you’re not.
One thing more: you don’t really NEED a relationship. It’s nice, it can be fun, comforting, even exciting, but the main person on earth that you need to get to know is YOU. When you’ve accomplished this and enjoy your own company and can be fine with solitude, THEN you’re really ready for Real Relationship and True Love. In the relationship biz, we know that love needs can be met in many ways, with family and friends, with meaningful and purposeful work with others, even with pets!
But a love partnership these days is about becoming a true partnership, two individuals each leading exciting lives and then sharing the excitement with each other when they get in each other’s company. Partners are each other’s moral support group, cheering one another on to accomplish their individual dreams, which may or may not happen to coincide with each other. But if the True Love is there, it doesn’t matter if the paths are different. The freedom of unconditional love is a commitment to allow each other to pursue desired paths, come what may. Even Mom and Dad did that, in their own way.
For those of you who haven’t yet found this highly idealistic state in life and for those of you who think this is all a bunch of hooey, here’s a little mud in your eye: For all I’ve said, every person you’re with is already your perfect partner AT THIS VERY MOMENT IN TIME, no matter how screwed up they (and therefore you too) are. Every partnership is holy, whether we think we feel love or whether we don’t feel any at all, because our relationships are showing us every day how we are progressing (or not) on the path of life. How are you doing? Look at your relationships with others, and you will see reflected back at you your own personal progress and self-growth. That said, I hope you are respecting others and that you are requiring that they be respectful of you, even while you love them with all their flaws. And that, my friends is LOVE.

Have a great week! For those trying reach me, email me back at the email address above, or call my cell phone and leave a message (713.301.9843). All readings will have to be done by phone, and that is indeed possible, as I do this for people all over the world all the time. For other stuff, email me. God bless the internet and the cell phones!!! What did we do twenty years ago? We got in our cars and drove or wrote letters. But then, gas was cheap, and stamps were too!

Love ya,
Andrea

Featured KPFT Program of the Week: Blues Brunch on Sundays
11 AM - 2 PM. on KPFT radio. "Blues Brunch is a blues show representing the only form of music that knows no boundaries be it color, religion, national origin, or other. It is music that was created by blacks in America reflecting their suffering as slaves and laborers. With that said and since part of our mission is to foster peace among the peoples of the world, I feel this show through its music and its diversity, has succeeded and continues to succeed in bridging the gap between listeners of this world, whomever they may be... This is the reason I had when I first started doing this show ages ago, and I'm sticking to it!"--Nuri Nuri, "The Big Bossman". This award-winning show is produced and hosted by a foreign guy, a Palestinian Moslem at that! Logon to http://www.kpft.org and click on "Listen Now!" in the upper right hand corner. I suggest listening on your computer at http://www.kpft.org .---Andrea

Find KPFT at 90.1 FM, in Houston, 24 hours a day. Please donate at http://www.kpft.org and click on "GIVE NOW". You can listen live online at this same address. Your work day will never be bored while you are listening.
You can also hear Alternative Radio programs directly by logging on with your computer to http://www.alternativeradio.org . Would you like to get some REAL NEWS for a change, without having to leave the United States?

News Feature The Terror Dream with Susan Faludi 9/11 was a double hijacking. First the actual event, and then the political hijacking engineered by an assortment of neocons, theocons, chicken hawks and born-again imperialists. Within weeks Afghanistan was attacked and occupied and plans were underway to invade Iraq, even though that country had nothing to do with 9/11. America, muscular and robust, fights wars and threatens others with military action. And something was happening on the home front as well. There was a revival of so-called traditional values and gender roles. Men defend and protect and women stay home and raise kids. It was like old times. Masculinity was back. And feminism was put in its place: on its back and in the kitchen. Political theater kicked in with pseudo-macho presidents swaggering on aircraft carrier flight decks to fables about Jessica Lynch. Did fairy talesreplace reality? Susan Faludi is a Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist. Her articles appear in The New Yorker, The Wall Street Journal, The New York Times, and The Nation. She is the author of the bestseller Backlash: The Undeclared War Against American Women, which won the National Book Critics Circle Award. Her latest book is The Terror Dream: Fear & Fantasy in Post-9/11 America.
Where recorded: Portland, Oregon on October 19, 2007
You can download this program or purchase it on CD at http://www.alternativeradio.org .
Activate!!!
WOW, Day of Action and WOW! Walk for Women 2008On International Women's Day let's cause a stir! Join our WOW! Day of Action and help us celebrate women around the world. Here's how to get involved! Whether you join us in person and walk our fun, one-mile walk, or walk virtually from your location - you can be involved in this event! WOW! Parties for a Cause. Gather some friends together and have some fun, while at the same time supporting the work of WOW! Plan one March 8 or any day during March. Become a WOW! supporter! Any donation made during February or March this year will qualify you as a member. Please join us! See what our friends and colleagues are doing on March 8! Join Work of Women (WOW!) @ World Neighbors on International Women's Day for our first annual Walk for Women. WOW! @ World Neighbors supports World Neighbors entire mission, including activities like women's savings and credit groups, leadership development, water projects, and community and reproductive health. It also goes to the crucial work of social change - of supporting communities to work together, identify solutions to their needs and involve members equitably in contributing to and benefiting from the development process. It challenges men and women to be creators and participants in a culture of hope and empowerment, and to share equally in the fruits of their investment. By participating in this event you will be making a difference in the lives of women throughout the world. Go to: http://walkforwomen.kintera.org/faf/home/default.asp?ievent=265302 or http://www.wn.org for more on World Neighbors.For info about how to do a Party for Women instead, go to: http://www.workofwomen.org/Party-for-Change.php
Help help help! Darfur: Aerial bombings and attacks lead thousands of civilians to flee to Chad Geneva/Birak-Tchad -Medicins Sans Frontieres is extremely concerned by the fate of civilians remaining in targeted areas and requests unhindered access to these populations. From February 8 to 10, the Sudanese army, assisted by militias, launched a large offensive in northwest Darfur. This military offensive, one of the most violent over the past few years, resulted in an immediate population displacement and the forced interruption of all medical activities in Seleia where MSF had been running a health centre project since 2006. Our team present in Chad, the neighbouring country, confirms that at least 7,000 new refugees, including Sudanese staff from MSF, reached the area of Birak after fleeing the towns of Abu Suruj, Sirba and Seleia now emptied of their population. This is only a fraction of the civilians directly affected by the offensive which are estimated to be around 50,000 people. According to the refugees, the attacks started on February 8, with aerial bombardment by military planes and attack helicopters. Testimonies of refugees tell the horror of the violence they were faced with. "We saw the soldiers surrounding our town before they started looting our houses setting them afire," said one of the inhabitants of Seleia who arrived in Birak region. The compound of the MSF team was attacked and looted, despite the fact that many women and children had sought refuge in the medical structure. Furthermore, the displaced population reports being further attacked, threatened and looted by roaming militias, while en route to Chad during the night. The refugees in Chad have gathered around villages, under trees, and have nothing but the clothes they wore when they fled. The MSF team has taken charge of some of the wounded in need of urgent medical care. The immediate priorities are to provide access to clean water and distribute shelter blankets, as the area is particularly cold and windy, and to set up medical consultations. "MSF is extremely worried about the fate of those populations that were left behind," said Huub Verhagen, MSF Head of Operations for Chad and Sudan. "Many families have been separated during the attack and are without news of those who remain in Darfur." Access to the region north of El Genina has been systematically refused to our international staff in Sudan since mid-December 2007, despite reports of deteriorating humanitarian conditions and the need to carry out a rapid health assessment after the recent attacks. MSF is deeply concerned by the situation and requests to all belligerents free and unhindered access to the populations in dire need of emergency assistance. MSF medical teams have been working on both sides of the border between Chad and Darfur-Sudan since 2004, providing care for populations directly affected by the conflict. In Seleia, MSF provided a range of medical services including antenatal and surgical care, with an average of 1, 500 consultations per month. In mid-December 2007, the international staff in Seleia was temporarily evacuated but had since then repeatedly requested administrative authorizations to return to the area. (taken from the MSF website)

Please help by donating at this online location: http://www.msf.org/msfinternational/donations/OR learn how you can volunteer at: http://www.doctorswithoutborders.org/

Green Action: Go to your Extension Service now for info on planting!
Yes, folks, it's that time of year to get to work planting your "Carbon Credits"! You can get a soil sample test from your Extension Service as well as a complete list of what's good plantin' for your area. In Oklahoma, contact your County Extension Service at your local County Courthouse or logon to: http://www2.dasnr.okstate.edu/extension In Texas, go to http://texasextension.tamu.edu/ to find out where your local office is. The websites have lots of great info. Texas AgriLife Extension Service offers practical, how-to education based on university research. It's available to any resident of Texas. You may read it in the newspaper, hear it on the radio, attend an Extension workshop, order a publication, or just call your county Extension office! Get planting, and if you've never done it before, now's the time!